Parties, Piggies, and Problems

The following is an excerpt from an actual conversation with The MR:

Him: Hon, who is Thirty One?

Me: Why?

Him: Because they authorized for a penny on our bank account.

(busted)

Me: Oh, cuz the party's not over.

Him: What party?

Me: The Thirty One party

(duh!)

Him: What do they sell?
(condescending tone)

Me: The CUTEST bags and totes and you can personalize them!!

(I raised my voice one octave as to sound younger and cheerful-
trying to deflect from the conversation)

Him: You don't have enough bags?

Me: I only have one with a squirrel on it and this one is going to have MISS SQUIRREL embroidered on it!!

Him: Did you get me anything? Maybe I need a new bag.

(now there's an undertone of sarcasm in his voice)

Me:  What would you put on your bag?

Him: "THE MR." What else???

So then we laughed and I thought-
are there any manly looking bags
and then I thought
there isn't anything manly about a
personalized tote-

But I am TOTALLY getting him a shirt personalized that says

THE MR.

I have a few items from Thirty One already- but they were all gifts -
so this is my first one to personalize...
I will pretend to be surprised when i open it-

Of course my memory is KAAAA-RAP these days-
so it just might be a surprise!!!

In case you are interested
(and I know you are)
my Froggy Friend, Lorraine is throwing this bash and it is
going on until the 15th!

There are some really cute prizes that you can enter to win, too!
Just click on that Glamorous Frog below to go check it out-

So this evening (despite the pain in my toes)
we went on a double date with the neighbors-

And I can call it  a "date" because
when the hostess walked us to our
table~
WE DIDN'T NEED KID MENUS!!
Whoo hoo!

I was able to eat and keep everything down
because NO ONE licked anything and
placed it on or in a shared surface-
I wanted to pepper and salt my food so badly-
but I am ANTI SHAKER for the rest of my forever!!!
I think I am going to have to steal
ask for some of those packets from McDs!


UPDATE ON THE PIGGIES-

It was decided last night that they are not broken.
Did a DR tell me this? Was I examined by a professional?
Were they xrayed?
No. No. and No.

The MR decided (in his infinite wisdom)
that they are NOT broken if he can
SQUEEZE THEM LIKE THIS!!!
(Imagine a hard grip on those precious pudgy piggies)

He said that I would have "gone through the roof"
if they were broken.
There was no way I could have "gone through the roof"
because I was too close to
PASSING OUT ON THE FLOOR!!!

It hurt. But because of his extensive studies in the field of broken toes, he was able to
determine that they are not broken, only sprained or bruised and they would feel better in the
morning.

(DON'T EVER TELL HIM- but they felt better this morning.)
I still limped around because they were sore-
I should totally get an award for my portrayal of
Best Actress in "I Can't Stand Up and Cook because My Toes Are Broken"
(coming soon to DVD)

(Oh, no- I have to go. The Littlest Little just asked me
"I know this will be a weird question- but how did I get here?"
That should be an ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDIN' ME??? moment- )
Wish me luck!